| In a society where we can either undo or redo just about everything, why isn't the same true of our college experiences and choices? We can return a purchase, unsend an email, erase a recording on our DVR and even dissolve a marriage, but there's nothing we can do about our college degrees. They are permanent.
How it all Started
I remember standing in my kitchen with my mother at the age of 17 filling out my college application and choosing a major. Being the first person to attend college in my family, I realize now that I didn't understand the significance of the decision I was making when I checked off "psychology" on my application. I also checked off "Master's of Arts in Teaching Program: Elementary Education" that night. I was planning to earn a bachelor's degree in Psychology and a master's degree in Elementary Education. I would be enrolled for 5 years, and then start looking for a teaching job once I graduated.
However, by the end of my sophomore year, I had changed my mind about psychology. I had changed my major from psychology to political science to mathematics to sociology... all within two years. I still planned to earn my master's in elementary education and land a teaching job soon after graduation.
Second Guessing Myself
While I was earning my bachelor's degree I had a relatively "normal" college experience. I graduated in the spring of 2006 with my degree in Sociology, and enjoyed the one month off before I started the summer classes for my master's degree. It was during the next year that I started to wonder if I made the right decision that night, four and a half years ago, in my kitchen.
By now, I was no longer living on campus and was living in my very first apartment for the first time ever – paying bills, buying my own groceries, going to school and working for the first time ever. The alarm clock would go off at 6 am – it was a scramble to get ready for school, make myself breakfast, pack a lunch, a snack, and dinner, and get out the door in order to get to school for 7:45. I had started my student teaching and was feeling extremely overwhelmed.
At the end of each school day, I would change from my "teacher clothes" and head off to a local home improvement store where I worked part-time as a cashier. The $10 an hour I earned working about 15 hours a week certainly didn't cover my bills, but I didn't have much of a choice. I would return home at about 10 pm ready to collapse. However, I had spelling tests to grade and math homework to correct. Not to mention, that I still had to plan and prepare a Language Arts, Science, Math and Social Studies lesson for the next day. If I was lucky, I'd be in bed by 1 am, just to wake up at 6 am and do it all again. Saturdays and Sundays I was up bright and early to work 8-hour shifts at the store. I felt like I was sinking, and no one could help me.
Now What?
It wore me down, and flooded me with feelings and emotions that I had never had before, but somehow I survived and received my master's degree in the spring of 2007. I felt proud, successful, and more relieved than I had ever felt before. I did it. I not only graduated from college, but also earned my master's degree. It wasn't easy, but I had attained and surpassed the goals that were set for me since birth.
When I was struggling during that year of graduate school, everyone I confided in had told me to "hang in there," "keep that head up," and "it's going to get easier soon – just stick it out." I convinced myself that they must be right – I was essentially working full time when I was doing my student teaching, as I was spending at least 8 hours a day at school, and then a handful of hours at home on school work each day. Plus, by working a part time job, it was certainly a more challenging situation than when I become a "real" teacher, right?
Wrong. I applied for over 60 teaching positions that summer after I received my degree. I wasn't even called for an interview for any of them. I ended up continuing as a cashier at the home improvement store, and working other part time jobs along the way. I moved back into my parent's house to save some money, and overall felt like I had let myself down. I took every job I could find that could even remotely allow me to network with someone that could possibly put in a good word for me for any job openings that would arise. I worked part time as an office clerk at a high school, simply for the experience and the networking possibilities. A year later, still in the same situation, I accepted a position at a summer camp assuming that eventually an opportunity would present itself. I was wrong.
I Want to Make an Exchange
Currently, I work in a school district. I'm not a classroom teacher and therefore, I'm not getting paid what I should for the degree I have. However, I'm still paying nearly $300 a month in student loans. Ironically, I'm still paying each month for the degree that I'm not using. I've been making monthly payments for 3 year ... |
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